The L Word : Behind the Scenes

The L Word Bette Porter Tina Kennard

#3 Touch Tones: The Ringer


I had felt Bette shake her head and sigh. ”What’s he going to hit her with I haven’t already thought of and yelled to her fucking face?”

”On camera he’s going to ask her about her nervous breakdown, suicide attempt and recent stint in the mental hospital.”

”What?!” Bette had shouted as the light by her bedside had suddenly switched back on. I had inched back up on the pillows and rested against the headboard.

”And when she tries to make her crazies out to be some spooky artistic relationship back into her art and writing…” I had begun to lay out the plan before Bette had interrupted me again.

”That would be the art of sucking other people’s personal lives out of them like a vampire?” Bette had exhaled and crossed her arms over her chest pissed off all over again.

”How would you feel if I told you Josh bought us the entire collection of hard drives from Mark, the spying roommate. Remember him? He had cameras all over her house for months.”

Bette’s mouth had dropped open in shock. ”Oh my fucking God! We own those? He bought the video after dinner with us tonight?”

”We do. We own eight thousand hours of proof of Jenny’s cruelties, and insanity, and spying in on us. The specific ”spying on us part” Josh’s boyfriend has left out of the nasty little two minute trailer he’s edited to show at Jenny’s press conference tomorrow.”

Bette, fascinated by this strategy, had sat rapt while I had continued. ”The second Jenny starts bleating about her Sapphic revelations and epiphanies – how she only wishes more couples like poor misguided, Bev and Nina had been able to watch her movie and sidestep all the pitfalls of their relationship disaster – the second she steps over that line, and starts getting preachy and know it all about me and you she trips the wire of our last tolerance, and Josh hits play on the short, but very damning video clip. I’ve been assured it will be brutal.”

Bette looks over at me shocked. ”Jesus Christ! I like the sound of this ambush so much it truly scares me a little. And then we sail in looking fabulous and announce we getting married! I love it.”

”Bette, I have a huge day tomorrow. You have to turn out the light.”

Author: Blackbird Writes

Fiction writer and filmmaker

19 thoughts on “#3 Touch Tones: The Ringer

  1. What a plan!..two bird in one stone indeed!….


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  6. Wow! It was a wonderful chapter. what a trap 😉 I loved it! Joyce is a great character in this story. God would have been much better to see it on the screen. and I look forward to the next chapter.


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  10. Via LesFan mamadoc91 says
    September 2, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Excellent! WeHo’s power couple off for a grand announcement and celebration. Perfect!


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    • Terribly kind of you to say. I do like dreaming up adventures and illustrating them with great images. I know show writers – they are great, great writers – and it’s a great job if you can write under pressure and then throw all that away because the director says it sucks and start again with maybe 18 minutes left to give it to the actors. I could probably do it with some training. Ain’t nobody calling me though but you guys – AND I appreciate all the comments and tweets and reTweets so much.

      Maybe I’ll dream up a great series and someone will say: “Blackbird, where have you been?”


  13. Another excellent installment!! Poor Jenny….NOT!!! And I do agree with MamaDoc, you SHOULD remake the L-Word!!


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  15. You’ve done it again!! I love it and now I can’t wait for the next one. Keep dangling that carrot my friend. And the pictures. They’re perfect.


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