The L Word : Behind the Scenes

The L Word Bette Porter Tina Kennard

Sanctuary – Bette Porter Tina Kennard L Word



Tina Chin Crinkle emotion


Bette’s House – Monday Morning – Tina

It feels odd having my coffee out here alone on the deck. But I don’t think it’s right for me to crawl back in bed next to her as if nothing has happened. No one in this house has amnesia. We may have other illnesses like a fucking sexually transmitted one, but amnesia we don’t have but possibly should.

A hummingbird hovers a few feet from me. She dips in and around the Hibiscus bush full of red blossoms as big as grapefruit. Bette loves these flowers even though they have no scent and attract hundreds of insects. She appreciates them she told me in the same way she loves older women who wear enormous broaches to High Tea at The Peninsula Hotel. I used to see us growing old together. Now, I don’t know. I hear her high heels come into the kitchen.

“How’d you sleep?” She asks through the door as she makes a bowl of fruit and yogurt.

“Fine. It was probably my imagination.” I answer back dismissively.

I don’t know which one of us opened our eyes first this morning to the waking light of reality that I had slept next to her all night long. I wish for a moment that the clock once again would read: 6:58 and I could have those two minutes back of warmth with her asleep and our breathing together.

My nights after work feel empty and unsettling. For the first time in years and years I’m not in a relationship. When I lived here I kept our calendar and it was always busy. The hummingbird hovers right in front of me then zooms away.

I see Bette through the open French doors. The back of her dress is partially unzipped. She does that sometimes, just forgets her mind suddenly on another thing in the morning.

I walk into the kitchen laughing. “Bette, do you want me to zip you up? You don’t want to go into work like this!”

She turns away from me and tries to do it herself but not before I see her scratches.

“I should wear a jacket today.” She walks away eating her yogurt.

“What happened to you? Those look bad and red, Bette.”

Author: Blackbird Writes

Fiction writer and filmmaker

9 thoughts on “Sanctuary – Bette Porter Tina Kennard L Word

  1. Via LesFan azmama

    Submitted on 2014/05/02 at 3:19 am

    I live in Arizona as my name suggests. I often see hummingbirds as they live here year round. In fact, I have a sugar water feeder installed on the outside of my kitchen window. Hummers are fascinating, beautiful, ethereal creatures. They beat their wings as much as 1,000 times per minute. Beating their wings like crazy but never going anywhere, just hovering. The male of a species called Anna’s Hummingbird has a mask on his throat and chin feathers (gorget) that in shade looks black but in bright sunlight, at the proper angle, his gorget becomes this iridescent, hot pink. Hummingbirds in general are extremely fierce and territorial. They will dive bomb you if you get near their food supply. The males are beautiful but lazy. They don’t build the nest, maintain the nest or nurture their mates or their relationship.But we often excuse their shoddy behavior b/c they are beautiful. Don’t we forgive good-looking people (like a Bette Porter) b/c of their good looks more easily than an average -looking person? Did you ever notice how friends say that the person they are trying to match you with, has a great personality which is usually code for this person is homely or nothing special.? Do average-looking folks have to develop their personalities b/c they can’t command a room on looks alone? Maybe, Bette didn’t work on her relationship w/Tina b/c Tina always forgave Bette for her slights or transgressions toward Tina. Bette’s the whole package: looks, brains, personality, charisma. She never really had to work on their relationship. It was all so easy until she committed the ultimate, unforgivable transgression. In the beginning and for a good number of years into the relationship, it was smooth sailing until it wasn’t. Is Bette shallow or just thoughtless when it comes to her relationship w/Tina? I love how you write flashbacks and conjure up a past remembrance (just like Proust) that connects the past with the present.


  2. Via LesFan tomboydee

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 7:20 pm

    a great heartwarming story between Bette and Tina, their love for each other, and looking back those memories has bring them closer. once you have your full heart of love for one person in your life then it will always be there regardless how it ended. i cant wait for your next story…. great job!!!


  3. Via LesFan lipitora

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 1:16 pm

    I simply loved this chapter! this is the right word! It was really very heartbreaking, but beautiful as well.
    The pain and sorrow will passing with time. Love is the driving force behind so much of everything in life but the pain too.
    the moment the Church was very nice, it’s what they should have done: to mourn together.
    Tina knows what she’s lost, the question is what she will do that get it back? 🙂 I hope both of them are willing to talk to each other and see that love is there.
    Thank you for this.


  4. Via LesFan kingg

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 9:31 am

    Hey BB…such a heart breaking post. My heart broke into a thousand pieces n then those pieces broke into a thousand more. This post is a real tear jerker. Tina is realizing what she has lost n that Bette can/will find a life w/o her; but they still belong together.. both will not feel complete until they find their way back to each other. There’s no other way, hopefully. Thx BB for the tear jerker n page turning post…you have outdone yourself again my fav writer! Keep up the gr8 work!!!…..(finally got it what Tina meant about staying in on New Year’s eve while they were trapped in the elevator.)


  5. Via LesFan brinny

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 8:03 am

    It is good that Tina is realizing that Bette will attract many admirers now that she is single again. I hope she will cherish the memories of happier times and remember why she fell in love with Bette. They need to come together like they did at church to grieve and talk about the son they lost. That was heartbreaking.


  6. Via LesFan mamadoc91

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 6:40 am

    Beautiful but sad. Tina’s memories need to haunt her – she was self-consumed and couldn’t know to grieve with Bette instead in parallel. They so belong together. Hopefully, more reflection and memories will jar them out of their fog of separation.
    Thanks BB!


  7. Via LesFan SassyGran

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 2:50 am

    Really liked this, particularly the Scene in the Church.
    Story also explains Tina’s comment in the Elevator about liking to stay in on New Year’s Eve!


  8. Via LesFan michelle.tibette

    Submitted on 2014/05/01 at 1:25 am

    Such a heart breaking story. I loved it so much.


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