“Do not struggle with me. Just fucking follow for once in your goddamn life.” I wrap my arms around her and kiss her mouth. Her eyes fly wide open, but so are the mortuary men’s. I release Helena. A loud smack emits, as I do.
Holding my hand up to flag the men I say, “Just practicing for our wedding in Boston day after tomorrow. Give us a minute?”
Helena waves at them, “Brilliant. Can’t get enough.” She turns back and this time kisses me.
I hold up my hand, as I start back to Helena. “One second… mmmffmm.” My voice muffled by her lips. Then, I hear Tina.
“What the fuck?” Her hand on her hip, she stares at us like we are out of our fucking minds.
“Come here.” We motion to her. The undertakers warily watch us become a threesome.
“Tina, we need back up. Text Alice this message.”
She stares at me not cooperating. I frown at her stubbornness. During a time when she should just fucking do what I ask her – like the old days, she doesn’t.
“Let me start over.” I take a deep breath. Helena drops her earring in my hand. Tina stares at the silver triangle.
“I apologize.” I begin to hurriedly explain, “We are stealing Dana’s ashes. We need a screwdriver. We have a Starbucks cup. I just need to get back to the bronze egg Alice is hiding before the mortuary guys discover it’s missing.” I recite, I hope without any annoying tone she might pick up, and further balk at.
“Look, I’ll take the earring to Alice and open the urn. I’m good at picking locks. Used to get myself trapped in my great aunt’s menagerie in Herefordshire.”
Helena takes her earring back and motions me toward the altar. “Come up here, Darling, let’s say a prayer for Dana, before we catch our flight.”
Tina rolls her eyes as Helena leads us to the altar.
“If we just stand in front like this they won’t see the urn’s missing.” I whisper to Tina as we look at a glossy eight by ten color portrait of Dana.
Helena quickly disappears behind the door where Alice is hiding.