The L Word : Behind the Scenes

The L Word Bette Porter Tina Kennard

Tomb Raider – Bette Porter Tina Kennard


“I’m the look out.” I tag Helena’s arm, “and now you’re ‘It’. Stay put, and don’t let anyone past you. I’ve got to see what the fuck is taking so long.”

“But…” Helena begins to object, but thankfully like the well-trained spaniel she is not, she stays put anyway.

Sanctuary Storage Room – Bette

“Alice! What the fuck?”

“We’re coming Dana. Just hang in there.” Alice looks up at me desperately. “I can’t get the fucking thing open!” She cries hammering at the urn with the eagle top from a nearby flag.

“Give it to me for a second.” I say impatiently as she hands it over. I realize I could go down for a dozen embarrassing citations for this. Maybe never work again construed by Republican bigots, as a twisted lesbian tomb raider.

“We just need a little screwdriver. You can’t crack this open Alice.” I look around the room for a tool kit. I see choir robes and Knights of Columbus programs. Nothing.

Alice sinks to the floor and covers her face. “Maybe we should just make a run for it. Take the whole urn. My cup idea was stupid.”

“God no! Alice, we’ll figure this out. They’d suspect us first anyway.” I return Dana’s urn to Alice’s lap. “I have an idea. Did you see Helena’s earrings? They’d unscrew this blasted thing. Stay here. I’ll be back.”

“But she left with Tina.”

“No, she’s our new look out.”

“Okay, whatever you say.” Alice cradles the polished brass egg shape that holds Dana’s – and our future freedoms.

Back out into the fucking church again. “Helena!” She spins around at the sound of my voice. “I need your earring to open the urn, be a tiny little screwdriver.”

I watch her frown at me as she unhooks a solid silver triangle. Behind her I see two men appear, dressed in black suits with emblems from the mortuary. They are here no doubt for Dana’s ashes. I need time. I need time. Talking to them is not going keep our secret. One look, if they walk in here even fifteen feet, will end this whole ill conceived robbery. I fix a very fierce look at Helena. She blanches under my stare.

Author: Blackbird Writes

Fiction writer and filmmaker

10 thoughts on “Tomb Raider – Bette Porter Tina Kennard

  1. Pingback: Tomb Raider – Bette Porter Tina Kennard | LWord_BehindtheScenes

  2. LesFan goyabeans4me

    Submitted on 2014/05/31 at 11:43 pm

    The more I read this, the better it gets…..”…Starbucks cup….lol!!”


  3. Via LesFan SassyGran

    Submitted on 2014/04/26 at 6:48 pm

    Really liked this. It has all the emotions and was funny too. Would have loved to have seen the Helena/Bette kiss on screen with JB, LuH and RS!


  4. Via LesFan MiamiMaven

    Submitted on 2014/04/22 at 6:43 pm

    Absolutely LOVED it.Top to bottom.Can u imagine the URN STEALING being played out on the small screen?So much better &funnier than 17REASONS


  5. Via LesFan tomboydee

    Submitted on 2014/04/20 at 2:27 am

    the story is hilarious and sad. the funny part was helena and bette “kiss” lol. .yeah they hated each other. alice is a great character. i can’t believe about dana “died” in the show. you have done a marvelous job writing. as I always said, keep up the good work. i enjoyed your story.. now i am going to read the other story “Milkyway”


  6. Via LesFan wkm

    Submitted on 2014/04/20 at 2:19 am

    Pretty entertaining. I would love to have seen that in the series. Too funny. Thanks


  7. Via LesFan bumsue

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 9:32 pm

    Well my friend, you worked that one out quite well. So proud of you and your writings similar to spider webs, so precise yet riveting in beauty and flow. I laughed my butt off picturing in my mind that scene in the church playing out with the ashes and the kiss. It was an ending fit for the beauty of Dana and who she had become.
    Ahhh, a turn toward home….
    I like how you introduced the letter and conversation with Tina as a point in her life that I think Bette deserves an explanation for. The history between them warrants it. Hendick is still too fresh.
    I’m beaming for the journey. Your voice and style are incredibly right on with this story writing.
    Thank you for your gifts to us!


  8. Via LesFan brinny

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 6:40 am

    Bette kissing Helena and Tina walking on them. Hilarious! I pay good money to see that! I am so glad that Tina is going to talk to Bette about what happened to Lucy and her. Thanks for making Henry not there during the talk.


  9. Via LesFan cvu

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 2:01 am

    Damn! this is hilarious!….So funny that i want to see that it played out on my tv screen!…
    Helena and Bette kiss? lmao..and she want to kiss Bette more? Alice is panicking?!
    “We’re coming Dana. Just hang in there.” Alice looks up at me desperately. “I can’t get the fucking thing open!” She cries…what about when Tina comes in and saw the”kiss”… 😛 precious!
    azmama was’ve got another home run here.


  10. Via LesFan azmama

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 1:30 am

    Another home run! So funny,witty but macabre and sad. Although, I wouldn’t like it if someone stole my loved one’s ashes but the scene was still freakin’ funny.


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