“What are we doing?” Whispering, we hide behind American and Knights of Columbus flags in a small storage room at the rear. I peak through a crack in the doorway. The sanctuary is empty after the service.
“We’re breaking her out of here. Don’t you think?” Alice waves the cup in front of me. A baked in smell of old coffee wafts up.
“I get it.” I push the cup away from my face.
“I need you to distract anyone while I steal her ashes.”
My hand on the knob. “Let’s go on three. I’ve always wanted to say that.”
“What do you mean? It’s not even two o’clock yet? We can’t wait around here for another hour. You go now!” She shoos me out from hiding.
God, the last place I want to be is back in this bad memory. But Alice is right. We must help Dana escape.
I hear the voices of my friends gathered in the vestibule. I know they’re feeling left out at not being invited to Dana’s parent’s home. Here’s an idea. Take a ball peen hammer and smash your thumb with it instead. I’m very irritated with all straight people today.
“Bette, I thought you had left?” Helena walks down the main aisle. I turn around and see that Dana’s urn is gone. Good job, Alice, halfway there.
“Are we the last ones?”
“I think her family’s still here upstairs.” Helena motions vaguely behind her.
“Where’s Tina? Still here?”
“We’re heading back to the studio now. She’s outside on the phone.” Helena bites her lip and leans in toward me, and whispers, “To tell the truth she thinks I’m a twat at the moment.”
“That’s too bad.” I don’t mean it. However much I may want to deny the obvious patterns and parts of our misfortune, Helena and I are in sync, as we turn toward a sharp repeating metal on metal banging sound.
“What the bloody hell?” I stop Helena heading toward the sound.
“It’s Alice. Apparently she can’t unscrew Dana’s urn, and she’s now bashing it to pieces. My God!”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Helena looks positively gleeful.