The L Word : Behind the Scenes

The L Word Bette Porter Tina Kennard

Tomb Raider – Bette Porter Tina Kennard


“What are we doing?” Whispering, we hide behind American and Knights of Columbus flags in a small storage room at the rear. I peak through a crack in the doorway. The sanctuary is empty after the service.

“We’re breaking her out of here. Don’t you think?” Alice waves the cup in front of me. A baked in smell of old coffee wafts up.

“I get it.” I push the cup away from my face.

“I need you to distract anyone while I steal her ashes.”

My hand on the knob. “Let’s go on three. I’ve always wanted to say that.”

“What do you mean? It’s not even two o’clock yet? We can’t wait around here for another hour. You go now!” She shoos me out from hiding.

God, the last place I want to be is back in this bad memory. But Alice is right. We must help Dana escape.

I hear the voices of my friends gathered in the vestibule. I know they’re feeling left out at not being invited to Dana’s parent’s home. Here’s an idea. Take a ball peen hammer and smash your thumb with it instead. I’m very irritated with all straight people today.

“Bette, I thought you had left?” Helena walks down the main aisle. I turn around and see that Dana’s urn is gone. Good job, Alice, halfway there.

“Are we the last ones?”

“I think her family’s still here upstairs.” Helena motions vaguely behind her.

“Where’s Tina? Still here?”

“We’re heading back to the studio now. She’s outside on the phone.” Helena bites her lip and leans in toward me, and whispers, “To tell the truth she thinks I’m a twat at the moment.”

“That’s too bad.” I don’t mean it. However much I may want to deny the obvious patterns and parts of our misfortune, Helena and I are in sync, as we turn toward a sharp repeating metal on metal banging sound.

“What the bloody hell?” I stop Helena heading toward the sound.

“It’s Alice. Apparently she can’t unscrew Dana’s urn, and she’s now bashing it to pieces.  My God!”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Helena looks positively gleeful.

Author: Blackbird Writes

Fiction writer and filmmaker

10 thoughts on “Tomb Raider – Bette Porter Tina Kennard

  1. Pingback: Tomb Raider – Bette Porter Tina Kennard | LWord_BehindtheScenes

  2. LesFan goyabeans4me

    Submitted on 2014/05/31 at 11:43 pm

    The more I read this, the better it gets…..”…Starbucks cup….lol!!”


  3. Via LesFan SassyGran

    Submitted on 2014/04/26 at 6:48 pm

    Really liked this. It has all the emotions and was funny too. Would have loved to have seen the Helena/Bette kiss on screen with JB, LuH and RS!


  4. Via LesFan MiamiMaven

    Submitted on 2014/04/22 at 6:43 pm

    Absolutely LOVED it.Top to bottom.Can u imagine the URN STEALING being played out on the small screen?So much better &funnier than 17REASONS


  5. Via LesFan tomboydee

    Submitted on 2014/04/20 at 2:27 am

    the story is hilarious and sad. the funny part was helena and bette “kiss” lol. .yeah they hated each other. alice is a great character. i can’t believe about dana “died” in the show. you have done a marvelous job writing. as I always said, keep up the good work. i enjoyed your story.. now i am going to read the other story “Milkyway”


  6. Via LesFan wkm

    Submitted on 2014/04/20 at 2:19 am

    Pretty entertaining. I would love to have seen that in the series. Too funny. Thanks


  7. Via LesFan bumsue

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 9:32 pm

    Well my friend, you worked that one out quite well. So proud of you and your writings similar to spider webs, so precise yet riveting in beauty and flow. I laughed my butt off picturing in my mind that scene in the church playing out with the ashes and the kiss. It was an ending fit for the beauty of Dana and who she had become.
    Ahhh, a turn toward home….
    I like how you introduced the letter and conversation with Tina as a point in her life that I think Bette deserves an explanation for. The history between them warrants it. Hendick is still too fresh.
    I’m beaming for the journey. Your voice and style are incredibly right on with this story writing.
    Thank you for your gifts to us!


  8. Via LesFan brinny

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 6:40 am

    Bette kissing Helena and Tina walking on them. Hilarious! I pay good money to see that! I am so glad that Tina is going to talk to Bette about what happened to Lucy and her. Thanks for making Henry not there during the talk.


  9. Via LesFan cvu

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 2:01 am

    Damn! this is hilarious!….So funny that i want to see that it played out on my tv screen!…
    Helena and Bette kiss? lmao..and she want to kiss Bette more? Alice is panicking?!
    “We’re coming Dana. Just hang in there.” Alice looks up at me desperately. “I can’t get the fucking thing open!” She cries…what about when Tina comes in and saw the”kiss”… 😛 precious!
    azmama was’ve got another home run here.


  10. Via LesFan azmama

    Submitted on 2014/04/19 at 1:30 am

    Another home run! So funny,witty but macabre and sad. Although, I wouldn’t like it if someone stole my loved one’s ashes but the scene was still freakin’ funny.


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